It was all worth it.

I ran up the stairs right after I got home from church that Sunday. Abraham was getting lunch ready, and I was secretly going to take a pregnancy test. I already knew it would be positive, but I needed to take the test to confirm. So I went to the washroom, took the test, and waited. And there it was, two lines. I was pregnant.

I had been thinking how I’d tell Abraham all week, but hadn’t come up with any clever ideas. So, while we were eating lunch, I told him I had an early birthday present for him, and I would give it to him after we were done.

I quickly put the test in a tiny purse and hand-lettered ‘Happy birthday, Daddy’ on a blank card and threw them in a large gift bag. He was expecting a big gift given the size of the bag, so you can imagine how his face fell when he saw the tiny purse inside.

Puzzled, he opened the purse and read the card. His reaction was a mix of confusion, shock, and excitement, followed by a good dose of nervousness and more excitement.

That week was definitely exciting. We were going to be a family of three. We had literally dreamt about a baby girl last summer, and so we were looking forward to getting to know this sweet little baby.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭1‬:‭5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Shortly after, I started feeling the symptoms of pregnancy: vomiting, nausea, heartburn, acid reflux, backache, and the list went on. This was not what I had prayed or hoped for, though I was aware how easy I had it. The winter definitely did not help, and Christmas looked bleak as I couldn’t eat as I did before.

In the grand scheme of things, all of that seemed so trivial compared to the miracle that was being formed inside of me. It almost felt wrong to even mention that I wasn’t feeling great, or I was craving sushi, or some good porotta and beef curry. After all, it was only a matter of months that I had to make these sacrifices.

Nevertheless, I prayed numerous times for God to take away these symptoms so I could enjoy my pregnancy. The answer to my prayers came in a tiny little pill that killed my heartburn. I thanked God for whoever it was that created this pill more times than you can imagine. Finally, I could enjoy my pregnancy, or so I thought.

Even though my heartburn was gone, the months didn’t fly by fast enough. It was rather slow and sometimes difficult. I missed being able to do simple things like bending down simply to pick up something from the floor or wearing my wedding ring as my fingers were swollen.

There were so many beautiful moments though and I tried my best to remind myself daily of God’s incredible goodness and faithfulness to us in this season. I kept saying to myself, ‘Look how far God has brought us.’ It was nothing short of a miracle.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. Psalm 139:13

Several of my friends were also having babies at the same time as I was. I knew that was definitely a God wink. We had three separate but beautiful showers where we were showered with so much love and gifts, it was quite amazing and we were so touched. How could I even complain?

Every time I met a mom at church, they would tell me that it would all be worth it. I would respond almost always with, ‘I really hope so’. I was literally counting down the days and it seemed like it was going so slowly.

Finally, the day arrived, and she made her appearance. It was surreal to hold her and more surreal to think we became parents. Only Jesus.

Two months later, I can confirm that it was all worth it. What a joy to parent and love this little girl. The gift of motherhood doesn’t always come beautifully packaged. It is hard work, lots of tears, a messy home, piled up dishes, and a bag full of laundry on most days. But it is always worth it. Always.

“From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother’s womb. I will ever praise you.” Psalm 71:6

If you’re going through the highs and lows of pregnancy and counting down the days, please know it all does get better soon. You’re doing a great job and that child you’re carrying is worth it.